jennna-louise-coleman:

lickypickystickyme:

Apparently everybody could use a little penis in their lives.

it’s not hard unless you make it that way

owlmylove:

therewerestarsintheireyes:

so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL

read it here:

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

image

(via runawayrunawayfromhere)

cute-pubes:

As I was sitting in the back of the police car, I remembered the countless times my father came home frustrated or humiliated by the cops when he had done nothing wrong. I felt his shame, his anger, and my own feelings of frustration for existing in a world where I have allowed myself to believe that “authority figures” could control my BEING… my ability to BE!
Danièle’s husband, Brian Lucas, who is white, says he believes they were targeted because they are an interracial couple.
Read more here

ifyoucarryonthisway:

i feel like mr. brightside is one of those songs you’re gonna hear on the radio in the car 20 years from now after not hearing it in forever and your gonna just start sobbing bUT ITS JUST THE PRICE I PAY DESTINY IS CALLLLINGNG M E and your kids are gonna be like is she okay

(Source: averagefairy, via runawayrunawayfromhere)

imaginethedarkerside:

dunflower:

u know someone is having a rough day when their favorite song plays and they don’t sing along

No one will understand how much this just broke my heart.

(via runawayrunawayfromhere)

misscupidturtle:

How to find MCR fans in a room

step 1: find a piano

step 2: play the first note to “welcome to the black parade”

step 3: Watch as their heads shoot up instantly 

(via runawayrunawayfromhere)

leo-arcana:

jetblueivy:

drive thru employeesimage definitely image do notimage get paidimage enoughimage forimage this image shitimage they are sick of your nonsenseimage

the last guy wasn’t even phased omg

(via runawayrunawayfromhere)

casey-haunter:

hogwartsisbiggerontheinside:

somedonkusfromasgard:

greatleapsforward:

meowitsraygun:

meowitsraygun:

I’m gonna start an all girl punk band that sings really offensive songs like, “I don’t know how to tell you you’re bad at oral.”

Our second song is going to be called “My eyelashes are longer than your dick.”

id listen to you guys.

Another song could be “Christ will come before I do.”

Oh my god

I’m already a fan. I want merch.

(via runawayrunawayfromhere)

rnikan:

SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

(Source: soulgems, via yournewworstnightmare)

canadad:

how dare this younger generation enjoy casual hookups and temporary dating…back in my day we got married to our first crushes when we were 18 and ended up unhappy by the time we were 40

(via sexxxontheradio)

shitdickfuckmothafucka:

omgbuglen:

A warning to anybody thinking about getting a husky

You can build yourself a third husky
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